Carl: Oh, goodie! So I should just sorta let the neighbors know that I’m gonna be kinda, ya know, exposing myself 4-5 times a day, depending on what I eat? Maybe we could sell some tickets. Come by and take pictures! This is where I do my business from now on!
Frylock: No, no no. This is the best part, Carl. Press this button and an infared privacy curtain is activated, rendering you virtually invisible!
Carl: Oh, okay. You know, sorta like that movie ‘Predator’. Only instead of huntin’ people, he’s like crappin’.
Cybernetic Ghost: Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus: an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dino-bone and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called “toys” were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators who were awoken by the searing grunts of the children. It wasn’t a holly jolly Christmas that year; for many were killed!
Frylock: Well that still doesn’t tell me why–
Cybernetic Ghost: I am not finished! You should’ve gotten a snack!
Cybernetic Ghost: A warlike race of elves from the red planet landed on the ice-encased earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa ape to make his confused toys, using galactic elfin technology for Evermore Sanchianados. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like ‘train’ but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked a big way.
“Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future” Quotes
“Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future” Images
And you didn’t even have to wait forever.